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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  October 19, 2017 1:35am-2:05am PDT

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call, visit or go to xfinitymobile.com. dude, you know what? you were right. i should just up my medication in the winter. you know, i was trying to decrease for the pure and stng or something, but that's shame and stigma right there. so, i get sick sometimes and need medicine, who ces? that's awesome, de. (joanne) i founone. (abbi) ooh, that's prty. that is a good one. it's a gooone. (vibrating) oa. holy sh... ooh! so, i just wanted to offer you this mopak. it's really popular among your demographic. she doesn't need a mom pak. she's a city girnow. oh. whatev. but thank u. oa. you know what this slut would love? okay, let's-- stop calling her that. she loves it. do. okay. t. (ilana clicking cheek) (abbi) s. mom, you're gonna love that. you deserve the best. but, um, hand wash it ly. mm. yeah, definitely just hand... wasit.
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♪ ♪ ♪ keep on love alive. (laughter). ♪ keep the love alive. >> trevor: yo man. ain't never coming back. i know, roy. i know. >> from chicago, the home of the man who could almost do the splits, it's "the daily show," with trevor noah! (applause).
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>> trevor:s with's going on, everybody! welcome, everybody, welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome to the daily show, everybody. my name is trevor noah. and this is the daily show. let me hear you from chicago! from chicago! take a seat, everybody, thank you so much. take a seat. wow, you guys are amazing. i could not be more excited. i could not be more excited. our guest tonight producer, actor, emmy-winning writer, chicago's very own lena waithe is joining us, everybody. (applause) so excited to have that conversation. but first what's going on chicago? you guys feeling good, yeah? you guys feeling good? feeling good, yeah, you guys want to talk about the cubs? you want to talk about the cubs no, no. i don't know, i don't know, you know what is weird, what is weird is being a tourist in such a beautiful city. i'm having the time of my life in chicago, i'm loving it.
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yeah, but then i also acknowledge that like the fans get sad if the team loses, and then i don't know, because i'm loving chicago, i'm having a good time and then have i to bring my energy down sometimes. no, cuz like i took a long walk along the lake. hi a hot dog that had another meal on top of it. i'm just like yeah, i'm in chicago, i'm in chicago! and chicago people are just like yeah, i'm real sad, we lost. and i'm like yeah, me too, i think. i'm just like yeah, i'm in chicago. i'm in chicago. but i do understand. i understand, i sports teams, depressing. the saddest thing i heard one fan say, he said it just feels like right now chicago teams can't beat anyone. and the good news is, that's not true. >> a night between two bulls players, in fact so violent that one suffered broken bones an concussion at today's practice. >> forward niko7mirotic will not play tomorrow or for awhile.
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bunch-- punched in the face by bobby portis. >> trevor: when will it end, people? another case of bull on bull violence. you know, i will say that chicago, instead of seeing this as a negative, i say you guys should use this to your advantage. because right now your team looks crazy. think about it. it's like you stab somebody on the firs day of prison. that is what this is. if i was on another nba team i would be terrified of the chicago bulls right now. a team that punch approximates it ef is. next time they are on the court they can just walk up to the opposing team, yo, give me the ball! and the teammate will be you better listen man, he's craziment just do what he says! he's crazy! (applause) use it. and speaking of crazy, speaking of crazy, even though mexico is definitely not going to pay for it. it looks like america is still trying to build donald trump's
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border wall. >> today we're getting a bird's eye view of the eight border wall prototypes being constructed south of us along the u.s.-mexico border. >> the prototypes must be 18 feet wide, 30 feet tall, have anti-climbing features and be able to withstand a 30 minute long attack using anything from sledge ham-- sledgehammers to household tools. >> trevor: okay, using anything from sledgehammers to household tools. it seems like sledgehammer is pretty of the ultimate test. why would you need to test the household, okay, you withstood the sledgehammer, now let's see what you do with a spatula, come on, come on, come on! i also like that the wall has to be able to withstand a 30 minute long attack. right? that number is so specific. like does trump think there will be immigrants at the border going, well, we sold everything. we walked through 100 miles of son oran desert it get here but we've been trying to breach this wall for 29 minutes.
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nothing, guys, nothing at all. hey, maybe, maybe we try one more minute. oh, what, you think this wall has been designed to be breached after 30 minutes specifically? come on man, let's go home. (applause). >> trevor: so specific. you know, you know what i would do if i was trying to get through the wall? forget sledgehammers, i would just be like hey, kool-aid man! >> oh yeah! >> trevor: come on, everybody. (applause) and by the way, by the way, why does everything donald trump does have to look like a reality show. just look at, this like all these walls look like contestants. it looks like the apprentice for walls. look at the way they placed them. there is a see-threw wall, that is the spikey wall. then there is the wall of, i don't even know what that is, that one is losing. they even built a wall with a booty. look at that wall. why would you have a wall with a
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about they. that is a black contractor, can't have no wall with no ass. like i don't know about you but i have never seen a wall with an ass beforement i have never seen that. yeah, look at that, it looks like it is about to pose in a magazine, that is what that wall looks like. (laughter) such a weird idea. i really don't understand why they are still going ahead with the wall. nobody needs it. the only place we should be building a wall is around harvey weinstein. that's the only place. (applause). >> trevor: we should be building any wall. because you realize, you realize it's been two weeks since the story broke and every single day it keeps getting worse. >> nearly 60 women now accuse him of misconduct ranging from sexual harassment to rape. >> the nypd is looking into two credible sexual assault allegations made against weinstein that date back more than ten years. sara ann massey says her interview to be a nanny for the film producer's children in 2008
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took an unexpected turn. >> he pulled me in for a very tight, overly long hug which, again, i will note, he was in his underwear. >> trevor: i am sorry, man, this guy keeps getting worse and worse. interviewing somebody in his underwear-- underwear, how does that interview even go, what do you say, so tell me about your strengths. well, i'm really good at not throwing up in my mouth right now. (laughter) like what kind of creep are you. and now the nypd is looking into criminal allegations as well. so i guess it's a good thing harvey weinstein likes people watching him shower because there is a lot of that in prison. that's one upside for him. (applause) the one place where it's normal. oh, and by the way, by the way, this isn't just about harvey weinstein because i have noticed some people who are like oh, hollywood. hollywood, this hollywood thing. this isn't a hollywood problem.
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this is a man problem. >> the hashtag me too becoming a rallying cry against all sexual harassment and assault. >> in the first 24 hour, 650,000 me too tweet, 24 hours later, the me too tweets are about double that in excess of 1.2 million tweets tweets from womed the world in multiple languages giving their own quts of their personal experiences with sexual harassment. >> you are greater than what has happened to you. >> you are loved and deserving of love. >> hashtag me too. >> me too. >> you know, i could talk about this all day. but i will tell you who i really want to hear from. "the daily show's" very own michelle wolf, everybody. (applause) >> you know, trevor is right. this problem is bigger than har ree weinstein. if there were two tbies at a bar and one was weinstein and the other was steve bannon, i would
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go home with cianon. you know, and because of this story, all these women are coming out to say that they've also been sexually harassed. and men are like i can't believe this! and i'm like i know you can't. men don't know anything that is going on with women. you think you understand vaginas because sometimes you put your penis in one. that's like me saying i understand engineering because i once drove through a tunnel. (laughter) (applause) and that's just our bodies. men have no idea about women's experiences. blacks, whites, pretty, ugly, rich, poor, human, a plant, when it comes to sexual harassment,
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every day women are going through an obstacle course. it's like a tough mudder but instead of mud it's dick. (applause) oh no! now i got to climb the dick wall! oh wait, this one is soft, this one is soft. you're good for nothing. and by the way, this issue isn't just about sex. it's also about power. it's not good enough to just fire harvey because there's always a bob. the only way you change it is you change the power from the top. my solution, every time a guy gets caught sexually harassing someone, you don't just fire him, you have to replace him with a woman. (cheers and applause)
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it's a policy that i call, pull out your dick, get replaced by a chick. >> trevor: michelle wolf, everybody! we'll be right back! donte, what are you looking at? (music) give me the ball! let's go, donte! ohhh! donte! stop dribbling! (music)
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three point one to go... donte grand with the shot... [buzzer] it's good! [cheering] (music) [cheering] kevin durant... a deep three... it's good! [cheering] donte grand, with the game in his hands... [cheering] behind the back to lebron... [cheering] off the backboard... slam! [cheering] (music) from have you seenducer, anything like this? never like this. based on the terrifying best-seller. he's playing games with us. he's completely insane. the snowman. rated r.
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you wanna cause some real havoc?
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well then you've come to the right woman. (intense rock music) my brothers and sisters of the united states of america, we ask you to become one of us. - [narrator] rated m for mature.
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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show coming to you all week from chicago. now for some people, for some people bringing up chicago is the perfect moment to bring up how bad public education is. but oftentimes they don't talk about the actual kids. dulce sloan has more. >> the chicago public school system is having a tough time. but there are some people out there who say the students are to blame. >> in chicago there's no incentive for kids to go to school. >> they would rather make money selling drugs and guns. >> okay, angry news lady. but you know what, let's hear from a recent graduate. >> i'm donating $1 million to cps. >> that is chance the rap, you know the dude with the kitkat commercials in the supermario overalls so why is this guy giving his hard earned candy
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money to a public school system? according to writer and socialologist eve ewing its problem is many people have abandoned that system all together. >> even though chicago as a city is bay third white, white residents in the chi are by and large opting out of the public school system. well, you know, we can figure this out. >> that part of the problem. public scooms are supposed to be for everybody supported by the public. yeah, america don't work that way. >> i know, it's a bummer. >> that's one way to put it. and chance and eve would know. they both went to chicago public schools am but they share something else in common. as students they had outside help from young chicago authors, a nonprofit afterschool writing program so i sat down with poet and art stix director kevin cobalt to find out more about it. >> we believe young people are the best documenters and experts of their own experience and that as a civic society we should probably pay attention more closely to what young people are saying. >> that sounds exhawsessing. >> but they're great though.
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i mean they're so smart and they're so talented. >> they better be. >> yeah, no, young people are very hip, very savvy. they constantly make these brilliant a cute political insights into the way our society should be. >> yeah, you are definitely a poet. you just said a lot of words. they sounded so good. >> okay, that's good. >> i don't know what all of them meant. and i am so impressed. >> okay. >> a place where kid requests find thier own voice, cool, and the annual poetry competition is the largest in the world am i just had one problem. >> we run the longest running youth open mic in the world. >> open mic? open mic? those things are where people get on stage and speak a bunch of bull [bleep]. >> hey white man come out of your shell, don't kiss your cousin and tell. >> and then in three hours an have i heard the same poem, so. >> all the open mic is superdope. i guarantee if are you here will you have a good time. >> kevin had me with his big words and beautiful eyes but
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these open mics, man, i don't know. i guess it was time for me to meet one of these little yca kids so i went to chicago south side where i meant 17 year old tre. tre claims yca helped him develop as a poet. i will be the judge of that. >> have you written any like love poems for like you know, somebody you like? >> i have. i wrote my first love poem as a sophomore. >> did you give it to her. >> i read it to her. >> did you do it like romeo and juliet stand on this balcony and i will read you situation. >> if the balcony was a stage. >> you performed it read it to her. >> performed it. >> guys the balls on this young man, this dude won't even text may back and a 17 year old is out here getting you in shape. step your game up, gentlemen. on top of everything else yca taught this kid to play the game of love, damn. >> i think yca has really helped me kind of realize who i am, not just as an artist, but as a person in general, it just gives you a chance to speak your
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truth. >> okay, so i mean are you going to this open mic tonight? >> yes, as a matter of fact, i will be performing. you know what would make my day? >> what. >> i would love if you came. >> fine, i'll go. that night i showed up lacking amazing, as usual. but i got to say, when tre went up on stage, i was nervous as hell. >> the following is a letter poetry to earn my spot at the table. >> baby girl you are fine. if we plan it right, and put space in between our stansas we could be stars. but what do you know about a man who has been smacking with verses back from the curses, tied up with first, the magic of terse, the gospel of rap, the hostile cat, the back pe-w. the chord chorus never develops to ask you what is the castle like who are you attracted to. >> i didn't need to be nervous, tre and the other performers killed it. and instead of treating these kids like a bunch of hoodlums who don't care about school,
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maybe we should be helping them develop their voice just like yca does. oh, and i guess i was wrong about open mic too. there is at least one of them that doesn't suck. >> thank you. (applause). >> trevor: dulce sloan, everybody, we'll be right back. i was a good soldier. i had purpose and i loved it. you never told me you were a hero. you are my hammer out there. don't let these young guys see you fold. ♪ i'm only human ♪ i make mistakes get down! ♪ i'm only human ♪ it's all it takes ♪ don't put the blame on me thank you for looking after my son. we're brothers. we look after each other. thank you for your service. rated r. ♪ don't put the blame on me
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(engine roaring) ( ♪ ) ♪ i ♪ i will be king ♪ and you... drink, sir?
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♪ you will be... no, thanks. (engine revving) i'm still driving. ♪ ...will drive them away ♪ ♪ we can be heroes... posting hashtag yeehaw. hashtag i have no signal and i still can't post out here. woah! look out, coming through. hey thomas. howdy there joy. see joy's got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. you bet i do. best phone, best network. america's largest, most reliable 4g lte network.
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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show in chicago. my guest tonight is a producer, actor and a writer who recently became the first black woman to win an emmy for outstanding writing for a comedy series. please welcome lena waithe. (applause) >> wow, wow, wow.
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>> trevor: welcome to the show. >> i mean thank you. welcome to chicago. >> trevor: oh, thank you. thank you. yeah, you are, you are a native of chicago. are you out working in l.a you are making tv. now you are winning for making tv now which is exciting. let's talk about that first real quick. first black woman to win an emmy in that category. >> yeah. >> trevor: for writing. is there a little bit of like, you know like it's interestingment like the fact that there is still first black in 2017 is insane. >> it's crazy. >> trevor: but it's a little like walking on the moon that is all we want to foa about now, what is it like. >> what is it like to be up there. you know what, i think it's an honor. you know, to walk through that door, but the truth is the only reason why i was able to open it is because so many other funny women of color have been banging
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on it for years, that way when i walked up, i could walk right through. you know, i think sometimes it's just about timing and the stars align and the industry kind of catches up. so i'm happy to have that honor, to be the first but it's just my mission to make sure i'm not the last. >> trevor: currently are you working on the chi which is based right here in chi town. >> yes. >> trevor: it is also again another one of firsts, you know when people are going like the first black drama on show time. >> well, the second. soul food was there, soul food used to be on i don't know if you know about soul food. >> trevor: this is way back. >> see how brown this audience isment you can be the a lovely kaw kition brother or sister that likes soul food. but yeah. >> trevor: tell me about, what is the chi all about. >> oh man, the chi, what i like to say to keep it simple trk is what it is like to be back and human and trying to survive the south side of chicago which is a very lay erred thing. >> trevor: why do you have to specify human. >> because i don't think we are always seen as human. i think we are still trying to
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make sure people see us as human beings. and i think the only way to really do that, sometimes is to do it through art, is to show stories that are lay erred, that are complex, that really show our humanity. and what i hope to do with the chi is to tell our story because i feel like there are so many things about chicago, people who aren't from here, you know, who don't necessarily know the story or know us, i really wanted to tell the story from a very human and honest and grounded perspective. so people can-- because there are a lot of stories coming out from the city and headlines but also to put some humanness behind the headlines, put some faces to these numbers that keep coming out so when you do hear it on the news it is not just background noises, that is where myself and common are coming, from we want to tell an interesting, entertaining story and not show up as perfect people but as human people and i think that's my mission with the show. >> trevor: i'm excited to watch it i'm a huge fan of your work. the chi will premier on showtime january 7th. lena waithe, everybody. we'll be right back.
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(applause)